it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
