I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
