She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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