So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
