I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
