yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
