On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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