i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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