If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
