we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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