I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
