my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize