Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
