Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
