What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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