where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
