Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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