Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize