he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
