i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
