At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
