i already hear my dad disowning me
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
