Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
