He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
