Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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