He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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