he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
