u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Soap is not a condiment
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
