sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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