Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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