I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
