i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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