Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
