real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
