ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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