me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
