you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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