I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
