He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
