guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize