The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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