ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
