We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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