It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
