We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
