She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
