it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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