Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
