Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize