Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
