These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
