y did u give ur computer a hand job?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
