Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
