she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
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