He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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