He kissed a someone with a penis
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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