She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
