; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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