do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
