we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
