he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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