How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
