I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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