I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
His nipple licking is glorious
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